501 Facts from a Neighbouring Reality

330. The majority of buttons in the cockpit of a large commercial jet will never be pressed except in moments of extreme boredom.

331. Of the 237 people who have actually achieved time-travel, none of them wants/wanted/will want to come back.

332. One of the most severe cases of OCD ever documented involved an orchestra conductor who was unable to brush his teeth without performing a symphony to his shampoo bottles first.

333. Every year, around 1,200 Dutch people get into difficulties with immigration officers in American airports because their passport says Netherlands and they say they’re from Holland.

334. The 90’s song ‘Don’t look back in Anger’ by Oasis is widely believed to have been about finally overtaking three cyclists riding abreast in the Peak District of England.

335. 60% of the uses of the word ‘erotic’ ought to have been ‘erratic.’

336. Advertisements for a garden centre in Surrey, England, claimed “Give a girl a rose and you keep her happy for a day; give a girl some mulch and teach her how to grow her own roses and you keep her happy for a lifetime.”

337. A practitioner interviewed on Welsh television in 2009 said that acupressure definitely works because it fixed his aunty Maude’s chronic left-handedness when the doctors couldn’t.

338. There has never been a professional ice hockey match where all members of the audience have left without bleeding.

339. Despite having 2 healthy kidneys, a banker in Wicklow, Ireland, persuaded a close family member to donate another one to him ‘just to make sure.’

340. Officials in Nigeria accused a company producing mace and eye drops in the same factory of being ‘spleen-splittingly irresponsible.’

341. In 2014 a man in Taiwan correctly diagnosed his own death when his smartphone failed to measure his pulse.

342. If all human lips suddenly turned transparent the entire race would die out in less than two generations.

343. There are palpable concerns within the horseracing community that they might soon run out of odd names and will have to resort to meaningful ones.

344. Translation difficulties resulted in ‘Gone with the Wind’ becoming ‘Where did that Go?’, ‘The Empty Clothesline’ and ‘Don’t Even Talk to me about the Weather’ in 3 tribal languages in central Africa.

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