501 Facts from a Neighbouring Reality

374. The red, wrinkly thingy on a turkey’s neck, stretched out, would wrap around your head twice.

375. Scientists still haven’t isolated the gland responsible for attitude.

376. The glove box light was patented many years before the invention of the combustion engine.

377. It can be stated, using a strictly scientific definition of enjoyment, incorporating measurable increases in endorphins and the ability to build healthy personal relationships, that no one has ever enjoyed golf.

378. If you eat 50 prunes then close your eyes and sing the highest note you can, you are very easily influenced, not ready for a serious relationship, and should probably get a cat instead.

379. If instant coffee actually was, the average fireman would have about four extra months of life to use.

380. One in twenty Russian officials has been caught on film trying to climb into their iPad after a drinking session.

381. In 2010 a judge in Austria reluctantly handed down a sentence of 200 hours community service and a fine to the author of the children’s book ‘Otto the Puppy Loses a Button’, for plagiarism, specifically, of 7 pages from Mein Kampf.

382. The majority of people interviewed by Time magazine, no matter how briefly, believe they might make it on to the cover.

383. In much the same way that glass, being a liquid, is slightly thicker at the bottom of old
windows than at the top, some long words in books can migrate several chapters backwards given sufficient time.

384. People who say ‘no pun intended’ just after crowbarring an awkward and tenuous pun into a conversation that they probably started for just that purpose, are 20% more likely to be elected to public office and 82% certain to be rubbish at it.

385. In the time it takes you to read this sentence, 3,500 people worldwide will wonder what that noise was.

386. One of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies is looking for a plant in Brazil which might be used medicinally to eradicate the Sunday morning fidgets.

387. The average person in China inadvertently swallows enough currency in their lifetime to pay for the catering at their funeral.

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