501 Facts from a Neighbouring Reality

405. A senior academic at Oxford University, England, has published a paper showing that every storyline in the BBC soap-opera ‘Eastenders’ is a thematic variation of one of Geoffrey Chaucer’s ‘Canterbury Tales.’

406. Each year about 40 people in California USA are arrested for injecting their pug with Botox out of curiosity.

407. If English people don’t hear or utter a cliché within ten minutes of conversation, they run the risk of becoming irreparably interesting.

408. The wife of a Portuguese ornithologist who remortgaged their house to fund research which might prove his hypothesis that ‘geese living near airfields respond to semaphore’ is no longer his wife.

409. The phrase ‘no fix, no fee’ and the phrase ‘no win, no fee’ can almost universally be replaced with either the phrase ‘we are criminals’ or the phrase ‘that’s money you’ll never see again.’

410. Some pianos in the Jazz clubs of the southern states of America used to have the saddest keys coloured blue for convenience, hence the name.

411. Peru is the only country on Earth whose government has had to consider making it illegal to eat belly button fluff.

412. There was only one episode of the original Star Trek series which was enjoyed by more than twenty women, most of whom secretly wished they were green.

413. There are 24 distinctly different ways of pronouncing ‘Gérard Depardieu’ and they are all slightly wrong.

414. 12% of forest fires are started by someone over-exerting themselves whilst wearing corduroy.

415. The second ‘R’ in J.R.R. Tolkien was once believed to have arisen as a result of an editor with a stutter and in intern with an ambitious and unquestioning work ethic.

416. Every time you take a selfie, your lifespan is reduced by 2 minutes, or 17 minutes if you used a laptop.

417. The frustration and tension which builds up in the intestines of an amateur five-a-side soccer player, materialises and solidifies during the game and actually leads to significant weightgain.

418. The only three facial expressions goats are capable of are ‘sleepy,’ ‘alarmed’ and ‘goat.’

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