501 Facts from a Neighbouring Reality

484. The only bit of a squirrel that you can’t eat is the tastiest.

485. A University in Canada reports that 10% of students that enrol to read ‘Terrorism and Subversive Behaviour’ drop out in the first semester claiming that they misunderstood what they might eventually qualify for.

486. A small, plastic, wind-up submarine is just about the worst thing you can do to a goldfish.

487. If you were to remove the policemen from low-budget Spanish soap operas, the average ratio of buttoned shirt buttons to unbuttoned would be 1:5.

488. The average student’s mattress holds enough nutrients to sustain an Everest attempt for 2 weeks.

489. A woman in Las Vegas, USA, who failed in a defamation case she took against her plastic surgeon for claiming that ‘she’d asked him to make her look vulnerable’, later successfully sued the same plastic surgeon for deformation, relying chiefly on her sister as a witness and her own nose as evidence.

490 Elvis was subject to 9 assassination attempts but nobody noticed because the assassin had been misinformed about him having a severe peanut allergy.

491. The likelihood of persuading someone to marry you on the first date is inversely proportional to the amount of toilet paper you eat during the date.

492 Some supermodels sway slightly in the presence of radio waves.

493 The appendix of the only person to discover what the appendix is for, burst and killed her just before she could write it down.

494. 30% of professional arm-wrestlers just want to hold someone’s hand.

495. A more accurate definition of insanity is misattributing a saying to Albert Einstein during a conversation that you are conducting with a small imaginary fish.

496. There are enough nutrients in camel dribble to sustain someone in the desert for up to three weeks.

497. In 1993 a Venezuelan entrepreneur demonstrated how a product’s novelty can outweigh it’s
usefulness by successfully marketing a lawnmower which runs on trifle.

498. If cat food were 25% more nutritious, the average house cat would be able to clear the
garden shed with a single standing jump.

499 Rhydian Humph from Cardiff, Wales wore the same dressing-gown continuously for 14 years, securing the world record for the least effective form of protest over a soccer referee’s decision.

500. In the average situation, in all likelihood, you might as well not bother.

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